I find myself missing school these days. I know, isn't that ironic. Seventeen years in and over twenty grand in debt and yet we all end up here anyway, just begging to go back to it, dying to sink more of our time and money into these faceless yet bold institutions. I always feel like my brain is wasting away because I haven't done anything theory in a long time. Besides pregnancy and childbirth, and in theory this is all coming up roses which is absolutely nothing like the real thing. I have come to the conclusion that all of those childbirth books that I read could not possibly have been about childbirth. I don't even think that the people who wrote them have kids of their own. I just remember thinking beforehand that it would all be okay because I had read all of the books. That was before the horror show screaming and massive amounts of spurting blood akin to Prom Night: The Massacre. Then afterwards I thought,
"WTF!!!"
In reality, those books were about as helpful in regards to childbirth as a plumber's manual. In fact, I should have been reading a plumber's manual, it would probably have been more useful. But back to my original point. Theory always makes anything look so smart and logical, organized into patterns and lists in little boxes etc. but in practice, in the real world, it's all screaming and chaos, sink or swim and that's when most of that theory goes out the window and you just do whatever it takes to survive. But theory sure makes you feel smart and put together at the time. I think that's what I miss, reading all those big fat textbooks that had everything color coded and sported bold faced type for important definitions etc. Ok, not really reading them, let's be honest, just highlighting everything in sight with brand new fluorescent yellow. It's like In case of Emergency: Please refer to the bold faced highlighted line on page 45 (unless you are presently being eaten by a mongoose). I don't even know what a mongoose is or what one looks like or even if it has the capacity to consume a human. Go figure. This is what happens when you are up too late at night.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Indulging in Chocolates and Staying up Late
Quote for today: Fall down seven times, get up eight. -Japanese Proverb
This is me, indulging in chocolates and staying up too late again. I feel like a pre-teen at a slumber party because staying up late for me now is 11:00pm. This is the time that I used to leave to go out to the party. My dad reminded me of this the other day. He would be going to bed and I would be heading out the door. My night just beginning and his day was done. Not anymore I'm afraid, but at the very least, I can sit on the couch and eat bon bons all day. This is something that I have always aspired to do. That is the sarcasm of course. At least I have come to a conclusion of sorts. I have decided that this is the time for it, I just can't put it off any longer, so I am going to begin writing my book. It isn't going to be a lengthy, epic marvel of heroism or a fantastic piece of punditry. Instead I have decided to do something a bit different. I knew that it would come to this sooner or later so it might as well be now. Anyhow, it all started in its original form as a blog study of the nature of human beings and their tendencies but I thought about it for a long time and I even started to post it. It ended up being shelved in complete horror a couple of weeks ago. It was supposed to be aptly named, "Your Human is Showing" or some such tomfoolery. Now I have decided that the issues that need to be addressed are far too lengthy for this blog so it must just be written out in masterpiece style instead. I had a dream about it, this page turner of an idea, how it would all play out if it were a made for TV movie. It isn't a dramatic tale, in fact it isn't a tale at all. More or less just a rambling bit of nonsense that pretty much came to me while I slept, for all that it's worth. Of course, you will all nonetheless, rush out to buy it when and if it comes out and then I will take your money. Huzzah!!
But do not fret, I will still continue my blogging on a regular basis. :)
This is me, indulging in chocolates and staying up too late again. I feel like a pre-teen at a slumber party because staying up late for me now is 11:00pm. This is the time that I used to leave to go out to the party. My dad reminded me of this the other day. He would be going to bed and I would be heading out the door. My night just beginning and his day was done. Not anymore I'm afraid, but at the very least, I can sit on the couch and eat bon bons all day. This is something that I have always aspired to do. That is the sarcasm of course. At least I have come to a conclusion of sorts. I have decided that this is the time for it, I just can't put it off any longer, so I am going to begin writing my book. It isn't going to be a lengthy, epic marvel of heroism or a fantastic piece of punditry. Instead I have decided to do something a bit different. I knew that it would come to this sooner or later so it might as well be now. Anyhow, it all started in its original form as a blog study of the nature of human beings and their tendencies but I thought about it for a long time and I even started to post it. It ended up being shelved in complete horror a couple of weeks ago. It was supposed to be aptly named, "Your Human is Showing" or some such tomfoolery. Now I have decided that the issues that need to be addressed are far too lengthy for this blog so it must just be written out in masterpiece style instead. I had a dream about it, this page turner of an idea, how it would all play out if it were a made for TV movie. It isn't a dramatic tale, in fact it isn't a tale at all. More or less just a rambling bit of nonsense that pretty much came to me while I slept, for all that it's worth. Of course, you will all nonetheless, rush out to buy it when and if it comes out and then I will take your money. Huzzah!!
But do not fret, I will still continue my blogging on a regular basis. :)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Die Telemarketers Die!!!
(Or at the very least get some mild to moderate food poisoning, please.)
Quote for today: 'Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience.'
Clarence Day
I understand that some people are just trying to make a living like everyone else but there is a point where you have to look at your life and realize that you are part of a group of people that nearly everyone on the face of the planet would like to murder. I am talking about telemarketers. Did anyone else get five calls this morning all before 9am? I think this must be what hell is like or at least close. For me, as easygoing as I am, I am about to go postal on someone. As luck would have it, they have now come out with something called the National Do Not Call List. If you register your number to this list then telemarketers can not call you or else they will get a fine. You are automatically taken off everyone's list and the companies have to abide by this list. Is this not ingenious? I will see how well it works. The whole point is to ensure that you don't get harassed on a daily basis but it is also so that telemarketers don't get so many death threats. I don't know about you but I don't know one person who wouldn't appreciate being on the Do Not Call List. I honestly can't see how the telemarketers could stay in business after this. I mean, seriously, is there anyone out there who WANTS these people to call them? I guess if you are old and alone then maybe. Yet for some reason, somehow or another, they are still at it. They are still calling and therefore someone out there must be buying it. I am not that someone. But I could have been, many times. I am probably the most gullible person in the world. I put such faith in people in general and then I have a very near coronary when I discover that they are liars and cheats. In fact, I could very well have lost the farm many times over to these kinds of people if it weren't for my best secret weapon. RipOffReport.com This has repeatedly come to my rescue and is now and forever my knight in shining weblog. This site, if you have ever seen it, is a place for consumers to bitch about how someone sold them a piece of crap in a box or took their money, basically this is a site where people let you know what not to do/buy because they did and found out that is a scam/a piece of crap in a box. This site works wonders too, all of those scams out there have to spend money to change their name and send the site all kinds of death threats. As soon as your company name comes up on the ripoffreport you are doomed. They stand to lose big money and business because people like me who have naivete and vulnerability up the wazoo, religiously check this site before making any sudden wallet movements. My #1 rule being never give out my credit card number over the phone. I am like a child, I need to have strict rules otherwise some sparkly, shiny bits might catch my attention and then all of a sudden I can't tell where the bottom of my basket went. I would probably wake up on the floor of my kitchen in a puddle of drool with my credit card in one hand and the phone dangling from the other. There is only one exception to this rule and that is if I contact the company myself and have proof that it is a reputable company (ie: phone book, internet site, known address). Seriously though, what semi-intelligent human being would ever give their credit card number out to some random stranger who just contacted them out of the blue?? There was this one lady who phoned me and wanted my credit card number to book a 'great Florida vacation' and I could hear her kids yelling in the background. I mean really, who in their right mind falls for this shit??!! Like I said before, someone must because they are still calling. Don't do it!! It's like late night TV shopping, not a good idea people! Nothing on late night TV is as shiny and fantastic in reality. It merely looks that way because it is 3am and you are sitting in a dark room with only the TV flickering in the background. My suggestion, go to bed. This is not the peak time for shopping. I honestly can't fathom how these guys sleep at night. I would want to kill myself approximately every day.
'The years teach much which the days never knew.' -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Quote for today: 'Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience.'
Clarence Day
I understand that some people are just trying to make a living like everyone else but there is a point where you have to look at your life and realize that you are part of a group of people that nearly everyone on the face of the planet would like to murder. I am talking about telemarketers. Did anyone else get five calls this morning all before 9am? I think this must be what hell is like or at least close. For me, as easygoing as I am, I am about to go postal on someone. As luck would have it, they have now come out with something called the National Do Not Call List. If you register your number to this list then telemarketers can not call you or else they will get a fine. You are automatically taken off everyone's list and the companies have to abide by this list. Is this not ingenious? I will see how well it works. The whole point is to ensure that you don't get harassed on a daily basis but it is also so that telemarketers don't get so many death threats. I don't know about you but I don't know one person who wouldn't appreciate being on the Do Not Call List. I honestly can't see how the telemarketers could stay in business after this. I mean, seriously, is there anyone out there who WANTS these people to call them? I guess if you are old and alone then maybe. Yet for some reason, somehow or another, they are still at it. They are still calling and therefore someone out there must be buying it. I am not that someone. But I could have been, many times. I am probably the most gullible person in the world. I put such faith in people in general and then I have a very near coronary when I discover that they are liars and cheats. In fact, I could very well have lost the farm many times over to these kinds of people if it weren't for my best secret weapon. RipOffReport.com This has repeatedly come to my rescue and is now and forever my knight in shining weblog. This site, if you have ever seen it, is a place for consumers to bitch about how someone sold them a piece of crap in a box or took their money, basically this is a site where people let you know what not to do/buy because they did and found out that is a scam/a piece of crap in a box. This site works wonders too, all of those scams out there have to spend money to change their name and send the site all kinds of death threats. As soon as your company name comes up on the ripoffreport you are doomed. They stand to lose big money and business because people like me who have naivete and vulnerability up the wazoo, religiously check this site before making any sudden wallet movements. My #1 rule being never give out my credit card number over the phone. I am like a child, I need to have strict rules otherwise some sparkly, shiny bits might catch my attention and then all of a sudden I can't tell where the bottom of my basket went. I would probably wake up on the floor of my kitchen in a puddle of drool with my credit card in one hand and the phone dangling from the other. There is only one exception to this rule and that is if I contact the company myself and have proof that it is a reputable company (ie: phone book, internet site, known address). Seriously though, what semi-intelligent human being would ever give their credit card number out to some random stranger who just contacted them out of the blue?? There was this one lady who phoned me and wanted my credit card number to book a 'great Florida vacation' and I could hear her kids yelling in the background. I mean really, who in their right mind falls for this shit??!! Like I said before, someone must because they are still calling. Don't do it!! It's like late night TV shopping, not a good idea people! Nothing on late night TV is as shiny and fantastic in reality. It merely looks that way because it is 3am and you are sitting in a dark room with only the TV flickering in the background. My suggestion, go to bed. This is not the peak time for shopping. I honestly can't fathom how these guys sleep at night. I would want to kill myself approximately every day.
'The years teach much which the days never knew.' -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Why My Bathroom Smells Like Marijuana
Quote for today: The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing. Marcus Aurelius
There was a funky smell coming from my bathroom this morning. I looked high and low and couldn't for the life of me figure it out until now. First, let me get this completely straight. I do not smoke marijuana nor do I do any other drug for that matter but I am a teacher and so my nose is attuned to these things. Also, who hasn't been to those college parties where the fumes from the smoke were so thick that you couldn't see two inches in front of your face. It's a reality and I know that I have to face facts that my own daughter is probably going to be at those parties too. And, let's be honest here, there was a short moment, back in my prime, when I did dabble with the MJ here and there until I realized that for the most part it just made for a wacky but very sleepy party that crashed nearly immediately afterward, which was of no use to a night owl like myself at the time. Marijuana, the gateway to a life of crime and diabolicalism, if you can get up off of the couch. Anyway, back to my dilemma. As I explained, I do not smoke pot, I am currently nearly two years cigarette free and I do not dabble in narcotics of any kind. So it is quite understandable why, upon entering my bathroom this morning, I would be surprised and even alarmed to be confronted with the slick, pungent odour of the aforementioned green demon. I was stumped. I thought that perhaps something was leaking or that something had been spilled. I set about and cleaned and scrubbed until the bathroom was a radiant display of sparkly goodness. Surely there were no more nasty uglies in there, I was certain that nothing could possibly outlast my vigorous effort. I took a big sniff but sure enough, underneath all of the fumes from the numerous cleaning agents, that ranky, skunky smell pervailed. I was at a loss. 'Think think think', I told myself as I racked my brain for clues that might let me in on what could possibly be going on. What had I done differently in the last 24 hours, what if I had a leak that I would have to pay to repair. Suddenly, it hit me. The bathmat!!! We had just purchased it yesterday at the Walmart. I checked the mat. Yes, that was it alright. I now have a bathmat that makes my bathroom smell like a grow op. The absurdities of my life never fail to amaze me.
There was a funky smell coming from my bathroom this morning. I looked high and low and couldn't for the life of me figure it out until now. First, let me get this completely straight. I do not smoke marijuana nor do I do any other drug for that matter but I am a teacher and so my nose is attuned to these things. Also, who hasn't been to those college parties where the fumes from the smoke were so thick that you couldn't see two inches in front of your face. It's a reality and I know that I have to face facts that my own daughter is probably going to be at those parties too. And, let's be honest here, there was a short moment, back in my prime, when I did dabble with the MJ here and there until I realized that for the most part it just made for a wacky but very sleepy party that crashed nearly immediately afterward, which was of no use to a night owl like myself at the time. Marijuana, the gateway to a life of crime and diabolicalism, if you can get up off of the couch. Anyway, back to my dilemma. As I explained, I do not smoke pot, I am currently nearly two years cigarette free and I do not dabble in narcotics of any kind. So it is quite understandable why, upon entering my bathroom this morning, I would be surprised and even alarmed to be confronted with the slick, pungent odour of the aforementioned green demon. I was stumped. I thought that perhaps something was leaking or that something had been spilled. I set about and cleaned and scrubbed until the bathroom was a radiant display of sparkly goodness. Surely there were no more nasty uglies in there, I was certain that nothing could possibly outlast my vigorous effort. I took a big sniff but sure enough, underneath all of the fumes from the numerous cleaning agents, that ranky, skunky smell pervailed. I was at a loss. 'Think think think', I told myself as I racked my brain for clues that might let me in on what could possibly be going on. What had I done differently in the last 24 hours, what if I had a leak that I would have to pay to repair. Suddenly, it hit me. The bathmat!!! We had just purchased it yesterday at the Walmart. I checked the mat. Yes, that was it alright. I now have a bathmat that makes my bathroom smell like a grow op. The absurdities of my life never fail to amaze me.
Top 2 Influential Women
Quote for today: Never wear anything that panics the cat. -PJ O'Rourke
I know, usually it is a top ten and I might update it over time. For now it is only two.
What Would Jackie Do?
Jacqueline Onassis Kennedy to me is the epitome of style, grace and beauty. I have been told that I resemble her, to my own blushing dismay and humble gratitude. Being first lady to one of the most famous presidents definitely makes a lasting impression and I even have a book called 'What would Jackie do?', that I might very well go ahead and use to start my own religion.
Mad about Audrey.
I am crazy about Audrey Hepburn. I mean, here is a woman who was not only gorgeous, talented and famous but spent her life humbly believing that she was average and then went on to help other people through some major work with Unicef. And to top it all, her movies are a blast. Who wouldn't want to hang out with this woman? I am now and forever obsessed with everything Audrey.
These are my two top influential women for this life as I know it.
I don't want to be these women, I don't think that I have what it takes really but what wouldn't I give to go back in time and peek through their closets. I was going to add Ariel from Disney's The Little Mermaid, but technically she is a fish.
Give a girl the right shoes and she'll conquer the world. -Bette Midler
I know, usually it is a top ten and I might update it over time. For now it is only two.
What Would Jackie Do?
Jacqueline Onassis Kennedy to me is the epitome of style, grace and beauty. I have been told that I resemble her, to my own blushing dismay and humble gratitude. Being first lady to one of the most famous presidents definitely makes a lasting impression and I even have a book called 'What would Jackie do?', that I might very well go ahead and use to start my own religion.
Mad about Audrey.
I am crazy about Audrey Hepburn. I mean, here is a woman who was not only gorgeous, talented and famous but spent her life humbly believing that she was average and then went on to help other people through some major work with Unicef. And to top it all, her movies are a blast. Who wouldn't want to hang out with this woman? I am now and forever obsessed with everything Audrey.
These are my two top influential women for this life as I know it.
I don't want to be these women, I don't think that I have what it takes really but what wouldn't I give to go back in time and peek through their closets. I was going to add Ariel from Disney's The Little Mermaid, but technically she is a fish.
Give a girl the right shoes and she'll conquer the world. -Bette Midler
Friday, November 7, 2008
US elections
Quote for today: Success isn't about the end result; it's about what you learn along the way. -Vera Wang
Way to go Barack Obama! (I wonder if his friends just call him Barack.)
First black US president and a democrat, I am looking forward to the future. Even though he has a big mess to clean up, at least he can't possibly eff it up as bad as George and his frat boys did. I feel a whole lot more secure with the US being Canada's neighbour now. Hopefully things start looking up. Now let's be sure he doesn't get assassinated. Can you imagine, there are seriously still people out there that are that gung ho about this whole white supremacy bullshit (and they are all in Texas with their rifles right now pissing in their pants to get just one crack at him). I mean ever since Will Smith got Jiggy with it, I thought that we could all get over ourselves and learn what it really is to be uniquely different. Ever since these so called 'wiggaz' (the potential Ivy Leaguer turned white gangsta who suddenly has the urge to show off his underpants to everyone by wearing his pants so low that he needs to walk with his legs shoulder width apart so they don't fall down, which wouldn't matter anyway because everything they are meant to cover is on display) started sporting all their bling and driving their souped up, pimped out rides around the ghetto like the Big old Mac Daddies of the hood that we all believe them to be, ever since that, I thought that we were all cool now, black was a groovy state of mind and all that jazz. Just another big beautiful black woman crooning on the radio. In reality, they are all really still out there somehow. Somewhere these KKK nutty bastards are lurking going, "Damn this Obama!! Damn him all to hell!!!" They are almost like comic book characters in fact, I mean who really goes around with a big, white, sheet going boo anymore? Ill education. In spite of what people think education really does shine through in everyday life and 'white trash' really does look like some dude wearing socks with his sandals and a big, white, garbage bag over his head with two eyeholes poked out so he doesn't bump into his own ego. Just let 'em try to knock us down!! I say, "Long live Obama!!" Let freedom ring!!
Way to go Barack Obama! (I wonder if his friends just call him Barack.)
First black US president and a democrat, I am looking forward to the future. Even though he has a big mess to clean up, at least he can't possibly eff it up as bad as George and his frat boys did. I feel a whole lot more secure with the US being Canada's neighbour now. Hopefully things start looking up. Now let's be sure he doesn't get assassinated. Can you imagine, there are seriously still people out there that are that gung ho about this whole white supremacy bullshit (and they are all in Texas with their rifles right now pissing in their pants to get just one crack at him). I mean ever since Will Smith got Jiggy with it, I thought that we could all get over ourselves and learn what it really is to be uniquely different. Ever since these so called 'wiggaz' (the potential Ivy Leaguer turned white gangsta who suddenly has the urge to show off his underpants to everyone by wearing his pants so low that he needs to walk with his legs shoulder width apart so they don't fall down, which wouldn't matter anyway because everything they are meant to cover is on display) started sporting all their bling and driving their souped up, pimped out rides around the ghetto like the Big old Mac Daddies of the hood that we all believe them to be, ever since that, I thought that we were all cool now, black was a groovy state of mind and all that jazz. Just another big beautiful black woman crooning on the radio. In reality, they are all really still out there somehow. Somewhere these KKK nutty bastards are lurking going, "Damn this Obama!! Damn him all to hell!!!" They are almost like comic book characters in fact, I mean who really goes around with a big, white, sheet going boo anymore? Ill education. In spite of what people think education really does shine through in everyday life and 'white trash' really does look like some dude wearing socks with his sandals and a big, white, garbage bag over his head with two eyeholes poked out so he doesn't bump into his own ego. Just let 'em try to knock us down!! I say, "Long live Obama!!" Let freedom ring!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Getting Distracted
It's been a while since I have posted so I will make this short and sweet. I am still here and still working on this blog. I have been so caught up lately in everything else that is going on in my life that I haven't had a chance to sit down with this and really sort through it all. I promise I will make some time this weekend and really get to the bottom of what I am supposed to be writing about. Especially about the US elections. Life has been pretty hectic lately but I am not supposed to let that boggle my mind and my blog. For now I bid you goodnight but I will write again soon.
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