In My Shoes

Quote for today: The beginning of all knowledge and wisdom is to desire it.

I have emerged at last. Not exactly a beautiful, shimmery butterfly but alive and kicking nonetheless. At least I have showered so I have accomplished something. I have a dream, it is to not smell swanky. I know, it doesn't impact in quite the same way as Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech. I am still equivocal to a shining beacon of light on my pedestal of example though. At least, that is how I feel considering the enormous wad of energy it took. I should be crowned queen, if only for the day. Basically, I am no longer just puttering about in my pajamas endlessly with no regard to what day it is or what time for that matter. What is it about the grey sky days that make you want to curl up in a ball and hermit away for eternity? I think it must be a study in psychology. I don't think that I could exist somewhere where it poured rain all of the time. I believe that I would become perpetually depressed and inevitably late for everything. Time seems to elude me in this state. I wonder how people cope with it. We all know that the British are generally pretty dry so I guess it wouldn't really bother them that much. Anyway, that is what I have been doing for the past couple of days, just lounging in. Lo and behold, the sun decides to shine today and so do I. We head out, just me and the baby, for breakfast in the park and then a grocery shop to stock up on supplies that we might need for the next lockdown. I used to do this a lot in college and university when I used to live alone for a number of years at a time. My alone being a safe haven where I could escape, hide, retreat, set up camp for days at a time in front of my less than essential TV. I would disappear for weeks on end, not answering phones, ignoring the world and only emerging for necessities like school and work, sometimes food. This was when I did my best writing also. I would sometimes lose track of all time and continue writing straight through until the sun peeked up. This went on of course until my friends would start pounding my door down with the SWAT team. Which would be an over exaggeration only if my apartment building weren't in such a seedy neighbourhood wherein I actually did have to house a stakeout when there was an armed man across my alley. What concerned me the most about this ordeal, you ask? Certainly not a grisly demise or at least sudden death. No, I was livid that the officers tracked in mud all over my newly washed floors with their boots. I don't even think they ever got their man.

Don't you just hate those big, bold, life changing thoughts that, before you can put them to words, immediately dissipate into thin air. That is what this post was supposed to be. A mental breakthrough based on the emotionally charged thought particle that went zinging by my brain this morning for one instant. Alas, I have forgotten what it was that I was trying so hard to point out and therefore I will never become the brazenly enlightened intellectual that I hoped so much to be.

I have decided though instead that I am the biggest klutz in the universe. If it is there to drop, I will be there to drop it. If it is worth anything, I will spill on it. If it is big enough to trip over, I will find it to stub most of my toes on at least a few times per day. If I move it because I keep tripping on it, I will then trip on it in it's new location. I am a banister girl and I find myself wondering why life doesn't come with more handles. (not the love type, got plenty of those thank you very much.) Alas, I am the type of person that trips and stubs their toes on the carpet divider. You know, those little metal things that they lay down to divide carpet and smooth flooring. Why oh why do they have these things?!! Sadly, I believe I am the only one who laments this. I have discovered of late that most of this klutziness is obviously my own fault. I try to multi-task. I, in fact, have a whole hearted, genuine belief that I am capable of multi-tasking which I am, basically, with two teeny, tiny exceptions that might actually be found in the fine print of my life somewhere:

1. I can not multi-task without klutzing all over the tasks that I am multi-tasking.

2. I can not multi-task or do any task for that matter, at the speed of light (which sucks for I would like to be able to do that). Sigh.

I do try though and it can be entertaining. Here is a rundown of how it goes in my head:

Make supper, do laundry, feed baby, give baby a bath.

Now here is how it usually plays out in real life:

Put supper pot on stove to boil.

Run down and put laundry in.

Back up to run bathwater.

Feed baby in high chair.


Then:

Bathwater overflows onto floor which becomes slippery when wet. Pick self up off of floor and turn off water. Mop up.

Pot boils over so run to grab pot with dish towel which catches fire. Throw dish towel in sink and turn water on.

Hungry baby in high chair screaming.

Feed baby.

Sink overflows onto floor which becomes slippery when wet. Pick self and baby's supper up off of floor and turn off water. Mop up.

Hungry baby in high chair still screaming.

Feed baby.

Meanwhile the laundry runs the entire cycle doing nothing because I neglect to close the lid.

Ever have one of these days? Welcome to the story of my life. I have realized that multi-tasking merely leads to me trying to avoid the simultaneous burning and flooding of the house.