Here's Me, Blogging Away

I think I am going to have to think up some actual titles for my blogs sooner or later but I can't think of anything clever at the time so I just give it some rubbish name that will probably come back to haunt me when all of my blog posts are inevitably called, "Whatever And So On And So Forth."

Quote for today: No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if Clod be washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. -John Donne

Did you know that your nose keeps growing and growing long after the rest of your face has decided on exactly the right size that it wants to be? I have been thinking about this a lot lately. See for yourself. Go take a look in the mirror and try to remember back. Were you able to stick that many fingers up there before? How about the contents of your nose? Did it really take you 20 average kleenex to do a thorough spring cleaning up there before? Was it really that thick of a jungle in there or has it just been slowly, silently growing more and more wild and out of control as the years pass? I, for one, would gladly take my cute as a button 20 year old nose back. I wonder how these noses grow? Do they grow down or out? And how does the rest of my face compensate for it? Look out cheeks and lips! Move on over! Make way for this brand spanking, new fangled, twenty-first century nose, a lot like the old nose, only roomier. That's right, a bigger hard drive and more RAM. The reason that I can't wrap my head around the whole nose issue is that as grown ups, we are just that. Grown up. As in fully grown. No more growing to do. At least that is what I thought and I was comfortable with that. I would remain this height, I would hopefully maintain this weight with a little work. I am a finished product and I am satisfied with the results. Until this completely out of my control nose thing. Now I am not too sure. My nose is one of my fave attributes about my face after having been granted a too wide smile, too square jawline, too small eyes, non-existent lashes and zero chance at shapely, supermodel brows. At first I thought that it was just a myth but now I am experiencing it for certain and I am becoming more and more wary and untrusting of this faithful, old nose that I have grown accustomed to. How big can noses get? Is there a limit to how much your nose actually can grow? Eyes, on the other hand, never grow. They are the same size when you are born as they will be for the rest of your life. That is why little babies, even baby animals, are such cute, cuddly adorable little things. Mother nature purposely makes them look utterly helpless and forlorn with their giant, watery eyes to ensure that they look pitiful enough to the rest of us so to guarantee that one of us poor fools will be roped into properly caring for this adorable wee thing that poops everywhere.
Your hair and fingernails never stop growing, even after you die. The 'eww' factor on that is fairly high though so I am not going to go into it.

I wish my neighbour would stop using his chainsaw all day every day. I think that he must have just purchased the thing. Men usually do that. Get a new tool and try to find bizarre new uses for it all day long every day until the novelty wears off or the thing breaks because they were trying to do something that the instruction manual clearly stated that they shouldn't do. Who reads instruction manuals anyway. I don't understand what the hell he is chainsawing though! He goes on and on chainsawing for hours and hours on end. I mean, I thought that a chainsaw was the real deal, a couple of good swipes and you're done. Unless he is performing the Texas Chainsaw Massacre over there then I have no earthly idea of what he needs to be constantly chainsawing for. For example, you need to cut down a tree? Fine, you get out your trusty chainsaw and you cut the damn thing down in three, maybe four strokes? It all depends how big round the tree is, which way the wind is blowing, how many beers you have had etc. However, regardless of all of these variables, it does not take you five bloody hours of chainsawing to get the tree down. So please, someone, enlighten me as to what exactly does take five bloody hours of constant chainsawing! Honestly, he never quits! Take a break buddy! Go and have a sandwich! Anything to stop the incessant chainsawing!! I have been staring at this dude out of my front window like the crazy cat lady all day. He has been standing in front of this one tree stump in his yard for hours chainsawing. Dude! Your chainsaw is not working! I mean, it's working alright, it just obviously is not the right tool for the job! Whatever the hell that job might be. The most amusing thing though is that his wife has been sitting out there on the lawn watching him since about 9:00am yesterday morning. Give up the vigil woman. He is not going to put the chainsaw down long enough for you smash it to bits. Goes to show, you shouldn't have bought it for him in the first place. Now, slowly but surely, the walls of your house will come crashing down one by one so that you think you must have termites but you won't, and he will promise that he will fix it just as soon as you buy him that neat table saw and power drill set that he has been ogling about as much as he used to ogle you. As if we really wanted to be ogled anyway, what a funny word. The wonderful thing about all of this is that the chainsawing always starts all of the dogs in the neighbourhood barking. Lovely, now I have a symphony.